Are you fed up with emails like this flooding your inbox? 

Me too!

I’m sick of companies sending me emails that scream “I-don’t-care-about-you-just-buy-my-shit”.

A flashing ‘sale’ sign will send me scrambling for the unsubscribe link faster than you can say “want a cuppa?”

Is it too much to ask for a little playful banter, flirtatious back-and-forth or even just a sign that you’re human before I hand over my hard earned cash?

You know… a few dinner dates rather than daylight robbery.

If you just felt your stomach fall out through your arse or you broke into a cold sweat when you saw those screenshots, I've got a question for you:

How’s your email marketing working for you right now?

If your emails look like the screenshots at the top of this page, I gotta be honest…

You can do better. A lot better!

Right now, you’re breaking your subscriber's hearts (by treating ‘em like a number on a list instead of the human being they are). Instead of rocking up with chocolates and flowers, you’re saving their number in your phone under ‘5”10’ blonde’ until it’s time for your next booty call.

What’s worse, because you’re treating ‘em like a robot instead of a person, you’re giving them a damn good reason to keep their wallets shut.

You might be thinking ‘but our emails look professional… and our products sell themselves’.

You’re probably right. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve them. As long as you’re sending emails to a decent sized list, you’re going to get some results. But with emails like those above, you’re creating a disconnect with much of audience, making them think three things:

1. ‘Your products are always on sale, so why should I buy now?’

Sales are a fantastic marketing tactic when used effectively. But when you’re emailing your list with sales every day, it’s not long before they realise your products are always on sale. As a result, they never buy at full price. Instead, they wait until the product they want or need comes on sale again.

When you’re constantly promoting a sale, there is no scarcity or urgency in your marketing so there is no reason for people to buy during a sale.

Rather than choosing a group of products and sending the same email for a week, why not focus on one single product (or style of product) each day. Tell a story followed by a call to action and set a deadline. The scarcity alone will increase your conversions, providing you do what you say you will, and increase the price again at the end of the sale.

When you add scarcity to your sales and urgency to your sales, people buy during your sale because they fear missing out.

2. ‘You’re just like every other company on the Internet!’

It seems like 95% of companies are reading from the same marketing textbook:

  • Send a daily or weekly newsletter promoting all of the current sale products; and

  • Use HTML and product images to make the email look professional.


In 2017, 269 Billion emails were sent and received every single day. In 2019, this is expected to increase to 294 Billion (Statista). And as you can see in the screenshot of my email inbox above, a lot of companies are relying on sales to make... well, sales.

So, how do you stand out in a sea of almost 300 billion emails? (Because let’s be honest, your subscribers are probably on your competitors' lists as well).

Well, you start by NOT copying the same email style as 95% of businesses currently using an email marketing strategy.

Because, in 2018, Campaign Monitor found that personalised email messages improve click-through rates by an average of 14% and conversions by 10%. Personalised emails also deliver 6x higher transaction rates (Campaign Monitor). Now when I say personalised, I don't just mean clicking the box so their name is automatically inserted in the first line, either.

When you personalise your emails with content that’s entertaining to your subscribers, your emails become the single pebble they pick out of the river bed to add to their collection.

3. ‘Where’s the unsubscribe link?’

If your email marketing is effectively a copy of the front page of your website, you’re sending subscribers scrambling for the ‘unsubscribe’ link like they’re trying to grab the last cheap TV on Black Friday. What’s worse, you’re pulling a wad of cash out of your business wallet, and setting it alight.

When people are rushing for your unsubscribe link - or worse, deleting your emails without even opening them - you’re paying to speak to people who aren’t listening. If they’re not opening your emails, they aren’t clicking… and if they aren’t clicking, they ain’t buying.

Even scarier than that; after months of clicking ‘delete’ when they see your business name in their inbox, they go elsewhere when they need a product like yours because they don’t want to start another flood of ‘buy-this-now’ emails.

When you send a new story every day, your subscribers look forward to the next step of the adventure, and they walk with you every step of the way.

Here’s the honest truth…

It’s NOT too much to ask that businesses respect the sanctity of the inbox. 

If you don’t respect my time, you’ll be dragged out by the bouncers before you can even make it to the bar, let alone take your first sip of a drink. In contrast, when you respect my time and my inbox, I roll out the red carpet and escort you to the VIP suite.

Your subscribers will do the same if you treat them right.

I’m talking higher open rates…

Increased clicks…

And most importantly, more profit from your email marketing.

By now, you’re probably hankering to taste the sales email secret sauce? Here ya’ go.

How to write a great sales email...

If you show me you understand my pain and challenges (as well as my dreams and desires)...

If you prove to me you’re interested in adding value to my life (not just helping yourself to the notes in my wallet)...

Even if you make a sales pitch at the bottom of every single email…

I will open every email you send and read every single word.

More importantly, when I need the product you’re selling, I’ll come to you instead of your competitors because I know and trust you. Regardless of your prices!!!

Now I know you don’t have the time, energy or interest to learn how to write emails like this. But you still want the opens, clicks & profits, right?

Lucky for you, you’ve found yourself floating in the exact pond on the world wide web where you’ll find cycling, fitness, nutrition, outdoor and travel emails:

→ that are packed full of exciting, entertaining and even downright frustrating stories that your subscribers will relate to like you’ve dropped their favourite book through their letterbox (the same strategy I used to skyrocket my open rates from the industry average of 20.41%3 up to 35.36%);

→ which include a daily call to action so hot, your list is rushing to act like they bolt down the stairs when the pizza delivery man comes a’knocking (responsible for taking my click-through rates from the industry average of 2.49% to a healthy 4.3% (Sales Monitor)); and 

→ generating sales like the Apple store the day they release a new iPhone (the average return on investment of email marketing is $38 for every dollar spent (Sleek Note)). 

However, before you even think about working with me, there are two conditions you MUST meet:

  1. You must have an email list of at least 1000 people; and

  2. You must have a product/service that you’re already selling.

Sounds like this is going to be preeettty expensive, doesn’t it?

Sure. But if you have a list of over 1000 people, and you’re boring them with daily emails like the ones I pictured above; consider how much cash you’re leaving on the table every time you tap ‘send’. 

Wouldn’t you prefer to be entertaining those people and keeping them on your list, so they come straight to you (rather than checking out your competitors) when they need your product?


The $27 million question:

My fees for 5 sales emails per week (20-24 emails per month) is $2027 AUD per month.

My fees for 7 sales emails per week (28-31 emails per month) is $3027 AUD per month.

I do not negotiate my fees, and payment must be made each month, in full and up front, before I lay a finger on my keyboard.

Let’s talk.

If you’d like to inquire about your own set of emails in brown paper packages, tied up with string, delivered to your doorstep by a nun on a vintage bicycle (not really, I'll just send you a Google Drive link) … complete the form below and we’ll schedule a call to work out the details.